A Casual Conversation

An unexpected cold has come on from nowhere really.

My head is so stuffy and my nose and throat feel like they are on fire.

My body feels a bit weary , yet my mind is busy, busy going many miles an hour so I’ve decided to slow down for a bit and listen to my body.

This week found me trying to re-evaluate things, reconnect , reflect, do some soul searching  and  a bit of tweaking.

My life these days is filled with finding my creativity and coming up with worth while projects to benefit those I come into contact with.

It’s not always easy and there are always many ideas and sometimes no direction or sense of implementing them.

It can be a bit frustrating when you want to do so much , yet resources are so limited.

Nevertheless, the show must go on and dreams keep coming.

This week I thought I would take a chance to de-clutter my brain and try to find clarity with many things.

There is work, there’s family, relationships, friends, hobbies, dreams and ideas all needing nurturing.

There are many subsets to these compartments in life.

It’s nice to be free and go with the flow, but then one also needs discipline and deadlines to achieve anything.

I figure this is where it begins.

If I want to write, then I need to write more and be consistent.

To maintain relationships, one must find time to ring, text, email and or visit, as time goes quickly leaving room for regrets and ‘what ifs’ .

If I want to be more creative, then I need to open myself to more ideas, different ways of doing things, be open to change and be brave as I allow myself to explore.

There are dreams and aspirations and all those little things that become big things when they drive our passion and desires.

Life is about balance, about love, about looking after ourselves.

This brings me to a new focus which is nothing to do with crazy dieting, but well balanced health.

Eating and drinking right, having enough exercise and sleep.

At this point, sleep is not as straight forward for me as it could be.

I have always had this love -hate relationship with sleep where I love it and would sometimes like more of it especially at nights but it is quite the opposite.

I am a nocturnal person and it can be very difficult to go to bed at a decent time but I do try .

When that doesn’t happen, I try to use my time wisely and productively to create, dream, build and find ways forward.

I know that I only have one body, and as I grow older and hopefully wiser, I appreciate life a lot more than I ever did before.

All the simple things in life make me happy.

I am being more of who I am and I worry less and less of what others may think.

I am more considerate and compassionate.

I am finding my inner child again and dreaming big once more,

I see people for who they are and enjoy trying to get to know and understand them.

I am much more open to other ideas and ways of thinking.

I can listen without imposing my point of view .

I don’t have to argue just because I disagree and this is making life much more easy for me.

I embrace this world , its people, all of creation and I embrace me.

I know this may have been all over the place today and I apologise if I bore anyone but it feels so good just emptying my brain.

With  much love and light

until next time.

Poeticlibran

xx

Reflection of me

So I am in bed and can’t fall asleep but this time I am not fighting it.
It’s about true reflection.
I am using this opportunity to regroup,  tweak ideas and come up with fresh ways forward.

I am in awe of how far I have journeyed through life.
Not ashamed of anything.
I welcome every experience and accept them as blessings.

I reflect upon the good, the not so good and know that in this moment,  I am at peace with everything.
With those who’ve turned away with no closure, those who’ve stuck by through it all, those whose sole interest was to be inquisitive,  and those who had other motives.

I reflect upon where I have been, where I am and where I am going.
I am pretty much filled with joy, peace and harmony, but most of all, overflowing with love.

My vision continues.
I am blessed with gifts and talents and always seek the wisdom to use them appropriately.

I am grateful For my faculties,  my health in mind, body and soul and my ability to reason and be open-minded.
What more is there to want in life than total peace and bliss? Regardless of the what’s going on,
Inner peace creates the balance needed to regroup and feed our vision.

I am learning to love more, let go and focus on the things I want rather than what I don’t.
I give my heart wholeheartedly, yet I am strong enough to say No when I need to.

I reflect upon me.
I am me.
I love me.
I was created to be just me.
This is me.

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Battles of insomnia

So this is night two of no sleep
This insomnia is back with a vengeance
Dear sleep, we need to come to an immediate understanding.
This can not go on.
On the flip side, I do my best writing on the nocturnal mode.
Ahhh the bends of life.
Still grateful and feeling mighty blessed.

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More sweet nothings from the Insomniac

Here goes another night of Insomnia. Oh how we have this love hate relationship, where I love sleep but it hates me. Instead of wasting precious moments, let’s see what thoughts are at play.

So next to me lies this beautiful soul. I couldn’t have ask for someone better to share my life with. Kind, loving, understanding, unselfish, by no means perfect but perfect for me.

Come in, my fur baby Bag Puss aka Baggy who seems to be the biggest attention whore I’ve ever come across. She demands attention and begs for treats. She lives to purr, eat, sleep and … But I love her non the less.

Okay, maybe she annoys me a lot in the mornings, when I’ve finally got my sleep on, and she wants to play or get under the duvet with us, while she purs to her pussy cat’s content.

Now here’s me, who seem to be wide awake while the rest of Britain happily sleeps. I could think of a few things that I want to do right now, but I am trying to just relax. That laundry basket has a load in and I wouldn’t mind doing some washing. I could sort out tthe rest of the things for the recycle bin, or empty the food waste bin and get them all sorted for the dustbin man on Monday. Hmmm. Okay….a bit boring but since you’ve read this far, maybe not too much.

My thoughts might have been louder than anticipated. My other half has just woken up. Oh well never mind. A sip of drink and back to bed. After all maybe I was quiet.

So back to the fur babies. The little diva our sometimes unsociable fur baby, is fast asleep on one of our fleece jumpers. She has so much attitude but we love her all the same. She begs a lot, and her head seems to be in her bowl more than necessary, but she will look at you with those poor, beggar’s eyes and pine away, making us out to be the most horrible parents. Don’t mind her. She strolls in and out as deemed fit when she wants cuddles, to socialise, or just interested in something that we are eating.
I am ever so sorry to end this abruptly but I am going in for a cuddle. Finally sleep is knocking at my door. Wish me sweet dreams. I am going in for a cuddle.:)

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Losing sleep over sleep

Another sleepless night in the life of an insomniac keeps my mind active.
So I’m just in bed doing mental exercises. Rearranging my life mentally, seeing what fits where. Which aspects need ironing, folding or hanging.

My thoughts are awakened, my mind is busy. I am dreaming wide awake, of what dreams may be. How can I get to point B from A. How do I achieve my goals. How do I keep myself motivated while the pace has slowed and feels at a stand still.

Oh the joys of being a responsible adult. I am not frustrated though. I am happy to have reorganised my thoughts and strategies. It’s okay to revisit your thoughts and iron them out.

I like these moments with myself to evaluate. It’s nice to have a functional mind. It’s no point losing sleep over sleep.

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Missing you

I miss you A LOT.
iLoveYou more.
Tonight it feels like I am missing a part of me. Excited to do what I’m doing but sometimes feel so empty.
How the heck is this going to get easier.
I feel sad, because I remember the pain I saw in your eyes before I left, and though I was already missing you before I left you, I neededbto be brave so I wouldn’t break down.
Maybe I am more emotional because I am very tired. My insomnia is bad and I barely sleep but a few hours.
I don’t know how best to explain this feeling, bursting from inside. I didn’t think I could love you more. Even when I am a moody cow, you put up with it all. I guess that’s what make us work. Me being so serious and you a comedian, but you know you catch a glimpse of crazy now and then. So I guess I deviated to ease my pain, then again It’s my thoughts my feelings, there’s no right or wrong. So what I was saying is that I really miss you, I absolutely adore you and I wish I was home. I hate feeling so lost without you. I miss your naked body next to mine as I drift off. I hate not finding you in the middle of the night.
I am counting the days till I am home.
iLoveYou Sunshine and grateful for every little wonder. Every moment that makes me, make you. Keep my side warm…