Inner Peace

I have cried tears of joy

I have cried and sobbed out of pain and heartache.

I have been let down 

I have been supported.

I have walked near the edge and pulled myself back.

I have been weak and I have been strong.

I have been scared and I have been hopeful.

I have felt worthless but I have also felt worthy.

I have buried my head in the sand and I have faced my darkest fears.

I have hidden in the dark and I have embraced the light.

I have shut my heart but now I open it freely to love and accept all the wonderful experiences and love the world wants to bless me with.

Through the highs and the lows, I have always known the hand of God and his favour.

My heart has found peace, strength and inner joy.

My Weakness Becomes My Strength

For so long I have struggled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. 

I wanted to be brave and do things on my own.

I didn’t want to be deemed as weak so for more than half my life I used my writing as the only form of therapy .

You see, my writings wouldn’t turn around and tell my secrets. 

They wouldn’t turn on me and suddenly stop being my friend.

My words would never betray me and I thought I needed nothing else. 
Time has passed. I have grown older and though my writings are still the biggest part of my healing, I accept the fact that I also need much more.
It’s much more difficult to stay on top of things. 

I am not just wanting to live the best life possible for me, but I want to be the best partner and friend. 

I want those around me to feel my light, my love, my joy and share in my laughter.

I no longer wish to be controlled by my moods, guilt or shame.  I no longer want to feel scared, anxious and angry , not understanding or being able to express what I am going through. 

I want to know and understand who I am.

I want those around me to be happy  in my presence.

I have gotten so much love and support over the past few years even when I haven’t given my best. 

I want those demons to flee and no longer live in my head.

I want to find release and freedom.

I don’t want to lie awake with thoughts of suicide plaguing my mind. 

So many nights I am scared that I won’t make it till morning and it’s a battle because I have to think of my loved ones and how this would  affect them. Most of the time that’s the only thing keeping me from going over the edge.  

I don’t want to be scared because I can’t control my moods.

I want to be the light and live in the light. 

So today , I choose to start over and to accept the help that I need at this time. 

I need it for my sanity. I need it so that my days won’t end prematurely.

I want to live for as long as I was intended to. 

I choose to live not just exist. 

Today I choose to let everything that has made me weak, be my strength and building block. 

Today I start over because my life matter to me and those around me. 
Love & Light

Darkness and Light

Once I was a little girl, broken, scared, used and abused with a heart filled with tears.
Still, through the darkest nights and the most heart broken times, I had dreams.
Dreams of rising through the ashes and spreading my wings, of blooming from the mud like the lotus flower.

Always, even in my darkest hour, there was a beam of light and there lied faith.
This fueled my fire and kept me going.
It still keeps me going.

So as I go through the fire, I know that though I be bent, I shall not be broken. I shall be sharpened and come out the other side.

May that fire and passion inside keep directing my path and leading me home.

While  this day may be filled with sorrow and pain, I know that tomorrow is a new day.
I was not born to fail nor live in fear.
I will overcome by grace.

The Heavens and the Universe gives me sustainance and keeps me strong and courageous.
I was created for great things.
Darkness shall not overcome me.
For wherever I am, love and light will surround me.

Show me the path you have laid for me and grant me peace, clarity and wisdom to discern.
Your will be done always and forever as your kingdom lives within me.
It is not what anyone thinks of me that I am, but that which I believe. In knowing my purpose, I will fulfill my destiny.

The little helpless child will weep no more.
I have been blessed with the strength to endure.
I am free from all shackles.
May peace be with me that I know who I am and whose I am always.

The Kingdom is within us all.
As we are we come .
Proud and filled with love.
Created perfectly imperfect by the hands of the Greatest Craftsman.
Who then shall call me flawed.

We are all equally and wonderfully made.
How great is it to be free of guilt and shame.
I walk with pride for who I am.
This is me, growing, learning, blossoming holding my head high.

Those nights did turn into days.
Love and light will continue to guide me always.

Love & Light

I am alright

Most people have this one thing that helps them get through difficult times.
I rely on knowing that there is something greater than myself.
It keeps me grounded because I know I was created to do wonderful things.

My life has been a series of ups and downs but through it all, there has always been someone or something to come along just at the right time, to help me stay focused.

I believe in miracles, whether great or small.
I know in my moments of darkness and despair that something or someone has always pulled me away from the edge, whether knowing or unknowingly.
I have a guardian angel who watches over me night and day.

I have a purpose in life and at times I may have doubted that purpose but life has never given up on me.
I am stronger because of renewed strength and courage each day.
This helps me to be who I am and not be afraid to start over when I have messed up.
It gives me hope knowing that yesterday is gone but I can rewrite my today.

This Higher Power joins with the Universe and grants me my greatest desires but I have to play my part and I have to believe in it and want to succeed.
It makes me brave to overcome anxiety and my worse fear daily.

Fear has no place in my life and each day I find freedom in knowing that.
Clarity and peace of mind takes me into the direction of my dreams for there is light at the end of the tunnel

I am so excited for th great things ahead.
It makes me believe that everything will be worth it in the end. It doesn’t matter how it began, I know it will end well.
The odds are in my favour and my hope is renewed.

Many people may doubt me, but I believe in myself and when the doubt creeps in , faith pulls me back on track so I don’t lose sight of what’s to come.

I believe in love for myself and others.
To respect everyone, inspire of differences.
To remove the word tolerance from my life because the word in itself has such a negative connotation.

I embrace myself and all the differences around me.
I believe in fairness and equality.
Above all I belive in love.

In times of weakness, anger, anguish and sadness I get comfort in knowing that, ‘this too shall pass’.
I will be alright because the impossible exists only in the mind that isn’t willed or motivated.

Love & Light. 

Time to be proactive

Time can pass us by in a twinkling of an eye.
All the wonderful intentions we have never come to fruition because we do not committ or believe we can achieve.
Unless we decide to act and remain focused , ideas are just ideas.

Whatever is wanted or needed in life has to be through commitment, determination and a passion and fire that has to be quenched. When ideas keep recurring even after ignoring or suppressing them, years after years, time after time then it is up to us to act.

Our life can be what we want it to be.
It may take longer than anticipated to get to where we want to be, but with time and consistency we can get there.
Create time, time is always there. Grab hold of it and do not let it pass you by.

Never give up on yourself.
Learn to love yourself, forgive yourself and know that whatever dreams may be , will be if you let them be.

Love & Light

Be careful what you ask for

So I ask that I be more patient, more kind and more loving.
I guess be careful what you ask for.
Tests come in all forms but self control is key.

What do you do when one constantly provokes you and tries to disturb your peace of mind?
Well, you keep asking for peace, you keep asking for patience and even when you may be angry inside, you smile.

Don’t show your hand.
Never let them think they’ve won.
Wickedness has a way of sorting itself.
In the mean time, I’m gonna let my light shine. I will be the light.
I will be grateful for all the things that I have.

Maybe I will even pray for those who persecute me… If I don’t who will.
It’s not an easy road but I ask for peace of mind, wisdom and understanding  for me and mine.

Tomorrow is another day.
One step at a time.
Acts of anger will never right wrong so I pray God, be my light, give me light and let me be light.

Love & Light

Teach Me How

Teach me how to get up when I fall down.
Teach me how  to be strong when I am weak.
Teach me how to be brave when I become fearful.
Teach me how to have hope when my hope is dwindling.
Teach me how to hold on for longer when I am about to fall off.

Teach me to be a better person.
Teach me to be the goodness I search for in others.
Teach me to be the love I crave from others.
Teach me to always find my truth.
Teach me how to keep on the path designed for me even when the odds are against me.
Teach me to forgive myself as much as I forgive others.
Teach me to love myself as I love others.
Teach me how to build myself even after breaking into a million pieces.

May I always find a way to be whole again.
May my spirit be forever strong.
May circumstances not cause me to lose faith.
Teach me to look upon life with eyes of love and hope that whatever life I live will be a fulfilled and happy one.

Teach me to always find the words in my heart to acknlowledge how I feel.
Teach me how to live life well and find true freedom and peace .
Teach me how to pray that I may learn how to heal.

Amen

The Darkness That Eats

I will keep on going till I can’t go anymore and then just when I feel like I am at death’s door, I will push on further to ensure what life has instore .

Every day seems a struggle.
One step at a time is all I need to fight this devil.
It’s hidden in my smile, though not always in my eyes.
Sometimes I feel alone but I know I am not.

My head and heart battle each other.
I try my best to win the battle before thinking of the war.
It’s so difficult to dig myself out of this hole so I try not to fall in but I don’t always succeed.

I try to be grateful for the life that I was blessed with.
I want to see joy in each day and the good in everything but we are only humans and sometimes get disheartened.
I fantasize about things being different and me being in another world because some days the load feels too much to carry.

I know  there are people who  may think it’s selfish but it’s not easy when the battle is from within.
I try my best to think of my loved ones and how they would feel.
Off course I want to live a fulfilled life. I don’t want to be selfish but I have to be honest about the days when I come really close and it’s only by grace that I hang on a bit longer.

Some days I feel like a winner and some days less than.
There are days when my thoughts scare me but to get myself back on track I have to release what I feel and think inside so I can try and move forward.
I can only keep praying , hoping and being strong. I know I was created to be much more.
To live a healthy life mentally and physically.

My method of healing is to get my feelings out in words , listening to music or remembering that no matter what, this is where I was meant to be at this time.
I keep holding on for as long as I can.
One day, I will be okay.

Depression won’t win.
Until then, it’s one day at a time.

Love & Light

Life in black, white, colour and in between.

When things are difficult and there’s a shortage of smiles, we hold on to the few things that bring some sunshine into our lives.

There are ups and downs, hills and valleys , flat lands and slopes but through it all, one  has to be focused .

You see, with winter, the plants and flowers wilt and all this beauty once in full bloom no longer exist.
Then just as all seem dead and bleak, one by one, flowers bloom.
Hints of colours paint the garden.
Hope springs forth and mother nature shows her strength.

Things have a way of working themselves out, even though while going through the fire we don’t immediately come to that conclusion.

Everything seems more dramatic in real time. It’s not to dismiss the importance of how emotions and the validity there of.
However if we hold on, we do overcome and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

We all have things that we struggle with.
By no means is life always what it seem.
Some of us are stronger than others and some hide their feelings better than others.

We learn things about ourselves we never knew we did.
We gain strength we never knew we had.
We become better people and we pass on lessons that life has taught.

The weak becomes strong.
The fearful becomes fearless.
Darkness turns to light.
Tears turn to smiles.
Wilted flowers come to life.

Love & Light

Posted from WordPress for Android

Love the Healer

Love rights every wrong.
Love wins over hatred.
Love heals the deepest wounds.
Love puts broken pieces back together.
Love teaches kindness and empathy.

Love makes the world a brighter place.
Love brings light into darkness.
Love saves lives.
Love brings the world together.

Love heals every hurt that the heart endured.
Love strengthens the weak and builds nations.
Love bring peace to humanity.

Love and light.

Posted from WordPress for Android